Way less sad

 Today I was looking back at my FaceBook memories , from 7-9 years ago. I realized how lost , anxious  and sad I was. In college ,when I became a full time student with a part time job, I gave up so much of what brought me joy and kept me grounded in my faith. It was all because I was "too busy" ( even though I wasted my time procrastinating on assignments but still getting good grades about 75% of the time).

Recently I realized God wasn't distant, I was. 

I was going through the motions and trying to appear as fine IRL. Those posts screamed for attention but that wasn't what I needed.

I've found that in these past 2- 3 years I've been finally getting into a better place. Yes teaching was stressful  , I got some tough news ( twice). I realized I shouldn't  keep trying to slide by as I always had. I started taking better care of myself but also taking time to help other people. I branched out and met alot of great women. I started making time for hobbies I enjoy. I started focusing on my relationship with God and started seriously reading the bible again.

I've gone from "Fake Happy"  to "Less Sad" (  If  you listen to Paramore and AJR , you get what I mean). I still have some stuff I am working through but I'm going to try to be content in whichever stage I'm in. Happiness isn't a destination,  it's merely a passing feeling. I would much rather choose joy.