Posts

Way less sad

 Today I was looking back at my FaceBook memories , from 7-9 years ago. I realized how lost , anxious  and sad I was. In college ,when I became a full time student with a part time job, I gave up so much of what brought me joy and kept me grounded in my faith. It was all because I was "too busy" ( even though I wasted my time procrastinating on assignments but still getting good grades about 75% of the time). Recently I realized God wasn't distant, I was.  I was going through the motions and trying to appear as fine IRL. Those posts screamed for attention but that wasn't what I needed. I've found that in these past 2- 3 years I've been finally getting into a better place. Yes teaching was stressful  , I got some tough news ( twice). I realized I shouldn't  keep trying to slide by as I always had. I started taking better care of myself but also taking time to help other people. I branched out and met alot of great women. I started making time for hobbies I ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Adulting

 ( this was written back in May before I got married, I just edited added on and published now) Ever since I was 19, I had been waiting to feel like an adult. 18 didn't count because I was in my final year of high school then. I felt like a late bloomer in every sense . I didn't have my first boyfriend until right after high school . I didn't get my first  job and  drivers licenses until after I was already in my early 20's ( in that order , it was awkward that first year  having to wait for my mom to pick me up from work). When everyone else seems to have nice skin, I'm still dealing with acne. Then I finally moved out of my parents house 3 years ago, renting from my parents. Then I got to put my car title and insurance in my name. Finally this week I was able to officially buy my house. In two weeks I'm getting married to the man I've been with since graduating high school. If I compare myself to my coworkers , I still don't feel like quite am adult be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Balancing act: my relationship with food and fitness

 Warning- I know weight and food is a really sensitive  subject for many. If it isn't something you can handle , skip this post.  It's a deep dive into my past history and my misconceptions about being "healthy".  Also , the timeline of my journey is a little all over the place , I tried to keep similar topics together but also have separate sections to compare my habits growing up vs. Now.  I have always been skinny, from a young age. I was/ am a picky eater so I didn't have much of an appetite.  I was both praised and teased about my slender figure; from family , friends acquaintances. I joked along but later it kind of got to me.  I was medical underweight.  I talked to my doctor about it. She challenged me to write down what I ate for two weeks and try to up my calories. I was able to gain a little weight to prove it was possible and I didn't have anything wrong stopping me from gaining weight. It didn't stick though because I went back to old...
Post a Comment
Read more

Same me, different era

 Hello Internet,  Last time I was blogging I was an early 20's college student living with my parents, with a part time job and a boyfriend. Now I've long since graduated, I'm almost 30 , I've moved out of my parents and I'm getting married soon.  Alot has changed in my life but I still have all my same character flaws that I'm hyper aware of.  I won't take the time to list those out. I know , as relatable as it is , self depreciation isn't a good look for a first post... maybe later.  I do not claim this as an advice blog, I am no expert. I'm still figuring life out . I may have some good revelations I share or lessons I've learned. I'm kind of a hypocrite with some advice I may promote ( i.e. not procrastinating,  going to therapy , being early for stuff , regular self care). I've experienced lots but hardly apply what I learn from my mistakes. I'm on a hot mess express and I'm looking for other passengers who can relate. Hope t...
Post a Comment
Read more